You may ask, why does someone with such obvious progressive, live-and-let-live tendencies as yourself, Church Secretary, remain on the e-mail list of such a regressive bunch of repugnant, hypocritical busybodies as the American Family Association?
To this I say, for the sheer fun of being a fly in the ointment. Most of the AFA’s e-mails involve ranting about some supposed affront to “Christian America’s” morality, and they request that I attach my name to a pre-written memo. I ignore those. Once in a while, though, AFA will send out a form letter that allows the recipient to alter the text so that it better reflects their own voice (or whatever). These are the ones I enjoy, and I urge you to do as I have done. It only takes a moment, and it’s so much fun.
Note the text of the original form letter:
I want to alert you to the fact that more than 20 pro-family organizations, including American Family Association, are boycotting Ford Motor Company because of Ford’s support for homosexual marriage.
You have a responsibility to inform your investors and shareholders of the Ford boycott, so that they can make informed decisions.
For more information on the boycott, go to BoycottFord.com.
You probably will want to alert your clients who hold Ford stock of this boycott.
Now, see what I’ve done with it:
I want to alert you to the fact that more than 20 ‘pro-family organizations,’ including American Family Association, are purporting to boycott Ford Motor Company because of Ford’s alleged ‘support’ for homosexual marriage.
You have a responsibility to say to yourselves: “So what?” Let’s be adults here; gay people drive cars and trucks, too. Also, the number of people in this country (not to mention Ford customers overseas) who will actually abstain from buying such a reflexively familiar, dependable brand-name based on some regressive notions about what other consenting adults should want to do with their lives probably amounts to a tiny group of clueless, self-righteous busybodies.
For more information on the boycott, go to BoycottFord.com. Otherwise, I recommend you do what I would do if you receive however many form letters from grandstanding, Taliban-wannabe organizations such as the sponsor of this particular ‘campaign’: ignore it.
You probably will want to alert your clients who hold Ford stock of this boycott, so that they can snort and shake their heads, too.
Thank you for your time.
You have the information; now you know where to go and what to do.
NOTE: if I were going to boycott Ford, which I do by default, anyway, I would do it for much more enlightened and practical reasons. Say, for instance, that I wanted to protest Ford’s cutting of domestic jobs in favor of cheaper labor overseas, even after receiving hefty concessions from the United Auto Workers. Or, I could just fling a little historical flair at their corporate monkey asses, and boycott them for never coming clean about helping the Nazis rise to power, and (along with GM) profiting from the German war machine while it was at war with the U.S.