Today is the day that I must give praise to George W. Bush, the great leader of our shining democracy. His herculean will and iron-clad morals have led us to this turning point of national greatness, the point where we demonstrate for all the world just how much we as Americans value peace, freedom, and democracy. With assistance from the steady, compassionate hand of Dick Cheney, President Bush will soon triumph over all the great evils of the world, beginning with that totally self-made devil in Iraq, Saddam Hussein. Thanks to the fiercely independent honesty of Colin Powell and Condoleeza Rice, who as African-Americans demonstrate at every opportunity their understanding of the plight of the downtrodden and disadvantaged, America will finally return to the state of moral purity and egalitarian freedom brought forth by the Founding Fathers at the birth of our blameless Christian nation. The warm, caring smile of Donald Rumsfeld sets the tone for our righteous crusaders of freedom and democracy in the Middle East as they liberate the Iraqi people and return control of their country totally over to them. A fine day it is, brothers and sisters; let us pray…

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